oh, mystery man.

Where is he? Where is the man that will sweep me off my feet and look adoringly into my eyes. Where is this magic man? It is about time he shows up on my doorstep.

Oh, mystery man. Come here. Come here.

This young woman is tired of crying out her eyes over a man who broke her in two. I want you to be my prince and heal my wounds. Tell me you love me. Adore my sides.

I am pretty sure you are not coming back. And even more sure you are out of my life forever.

With my fingers crossed, I hope I never see you again.

choking on this perception of pain. it seems to be one of those early mornings where the rain comes straight from my eyes. droplets slipping down the sides of my face. furious at the longevity of your sides against my sides. why let the momentum drag on?
i hate the thought. i refuse to remind myself of any nights with you. i hate the thought of you. i hate the selfish evenings.
all of your selfishness so repulsive to the earth. would leave any woman shaking herself up inside.

a man no longer welcome here.

how you left her alone

These days have just been such a ridiculous phase of my life. I have lost all those men, and thankfully, I have lost them. My life was never the best with them, they ate me alive. My spirit ran dry, I lost my sense of direction, lost the creativity and the passion my love always had. Now I must regain it all back.
Even though I feel as if the last three years were entirely lost, they certainly were not wasted. This heart of mine has learned an abundance of life, and has gained intelligence. It has also taught me exactly what I am seeking for in a life long partner. I have my sights set on the bigger and the better things.
My sights set on the future. Thankfully, deep inside, I know I am going to be perfectly fine. But as the moment resides, I cannot help but have quite a bit of pain. I could care less about what you think, truly. I am better off without most of you.
All I want is to fulfill my life until the top is blown off and the skies are painted with my passion, my love, and there are those in the world who sincerely appreciate my beauty. Because, oh my, there is so much beauty inside this young woman. All she is in need of is to suck this earth dry of its soil, getting her hands dirty, muddy, and becoming life changing.
When watching the stars fade, her eyes become fastened on such a beautiful direction in life, so enthralled with hope.
So sorry about it all, but thank you for teaching me how I truly want my life to be lived and how I am no longer taking any chances to lose it ever again.
So many of these men, taking so very much from me, oh, oh oh oh it's all wrong.

Now that it is all over, I thank you.

You will never meet another one like myself.


How you left her alone.

if i were a stranger to you again, would you dance with me tonight?

leaving is not enough; you must
stay gone. train your heart
like a dog. change the locks
even on the house he’s never
visited. you lucky, lucky girl.
you have an apartment
just your size. a bathtub
full of tea. a heart the size
of Arizona, but not nearly
so arid. don’t wish away
your cracked past, your
crooked toes, your problems
are papier mache puppets
you made or bought because the vendor
at the market was so compelling you just
had to have them. you had to have him.
and you did. and now you pull down
the bridge between your houses,
you make him call before
he visits, you take a lover
for granted, you take
a lover who looks at you
like maybe you are magic. make
the first bottle you consume
in this place a relic. place it
on whatever altar you fashion
with a knife and five cranberries.
don’t lose too much weight.
stupid girls are always trying
to disappear as revenge. and you
are not stupid. you loved a man
with more hands than a parade
of beggars, and here you stand. heart
like a four-poster bed. heart like a canvas.
heart leaking something so strong
they can smell it in the street.

Here is a song for you child of mine, I hope you make it through this time. Get yourself a piece of that rainbow pie, no reason in the world you can't get by.

catch it if you can.

oh my lonely diamond heart

so do you know i'm a dancer now with red painted lips, and a jezebel crown. so have you heard, i'm a singer now with reliquary eyes, and a diadem frown. But i look for you in the diamond trees and this highway divine. Deliver me. Your father died a month ago and we scattered his ashes in the snow. But oh my lonely diamond heart, it misses you so well. Oh my lonely diamond heart, it misses you oh well. I had a man in every town And I thought of you each time I tore off my gown. Changes have come and I cannot recall the shape of your face through the winters and falls. But I look for you in the traffic seas and the bars I'm always frequenting. Holidays are the hardest hours of the year.

Oh my lonely diamond heart it misses you so well.
Oh my lonely diamond heart it misses you oh well.